Dear diary 

I should be over what happened but I still get disgusted at the thought of his hands on my inner parts 

I still get so angry because I never imagined someone whose blood to do what he did why would he do this why continue what did I do that he did it I mean I was what 9 but still as I grew up I just froze up never saying a word 

I would hide in a cupboard in my room because the monster who I was hiding from was coming to my house and nobody knew 

I tired telling a friend that when I learnt what he was doing wasn’t normal but I also learnt then that people don’t believe you or think you over reacting because of course a 9 year would want a 30 something man over her sure.

I still get angry and disgusted so so disgusted because even though it was so gross and I was sick to my stomach still am my body responded to it I didn’t know what it was but I knew it was wrong and I was so scared of getting caught because it was so gross and what was happening I responded to it how disgusting does that make me 

I am suppose to be over it but I am not how can I be when it’s in the back of my mind most of the time haunting me his face haunting me when I box giving me that extra push 

Maybe it’s time to move on but I don’t feel like it is not yet anyway I just wish I could ask him but I am so scared of seeing the monster under my bed again 

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