Hate you but love you

I hate you I love you Every time I look around it’s you and me us against the world just like You and me I have always been sensitive you have always been my rock You always held me when I cried now I am crying and you gone forever and always how do I accept that you died yet you living happier now than I have ever seen you You played around with my head but I paint you out to be a hero that’s dead My poetry isn’t the best yet here I am writing about times better than you and me Shy face you know me guess you will never see this I adored you expected you to fight for me may be it was silly of me to leave you alone but how could I fight for you when everyone hated me The whispers were always around “she is not good for you open your eyes” You would lie and say they fine but I know how your mom watched me Still my 90+ plus baby guess I shouldn’t call you that shit I guess I am still in habit Nobody was you I messed around looking for people to repair my heart when all I wanted was you I am so alone sometimes the ones you love the most are the ones who leave you the most It’s funny I used to nickname you my husband my best friend stupid I see it now but baby if I could say anything to you I would tell you I am so happy for you she makes you smile brighter My heart still tightens at the thought of you with her But I am all alone now alone in the darkness I stopped fighting I embrace my loneliness but some nights I wonder how can I move on when I am still in love with you

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